Pain Hurts
by blackstardragon2
Summary: Pain hurts. No one knows that as well as Matthew Williams does. and he refused to take it anymore. Now, 5 years later he tells his little brother, Peter the story of how it still lingers after all these years. Can his family fix mistakes made 5 years ago? (Human and country names used. May or may not have a happy ending. Rating may change and soon to be USCAN)


**AN/**

**Well, hello Hetalia fans!**

**Now, this is so my first fic for this archive and hopefully, I'm welcomed with open arms instead of sharp knives, like my last fandom. **

**I really like the whole ignored Matthew and depressed and goes on to a bigger life leavening people to regret their mistakes, so Yheh. I never found a story I was really satisfied with so…..here we are.**

**I do NOT own APH with a big fat NOT. Trust me. If I did, then it would be rated R18. **

**Onward to ze Fanfiction!**

***-*-*-*Page Break*-*-*-***

It hurt Alfred.

It hurt him a lot to know that he was a big part to the reason he was hurting. It hurt him to know, he hurt someone else. It hurt him to know he neglected that someone. It hurt him to know that he put that someone in to emotional pain. It hurt him to know that he was the reason that someone had to go through physical pain. It hurt to know that someone that once looked at him with bright loving eyes now looks at him with cold blank ones. It hurt him to know that cute expression that was once reserved just for him was now given to someone else. But most of all, it hurt him that someone left. The person was hurt the point where he no longer wanted anything to do with him or his family. The person was shunned. That person was ignored. That person was left out. That person left. He picked up his bags and left. That hurt that was given was now hurting back.

And it wasn't just Alfred. England felt it too. He wished he paid more attention to his former son. He wished he gave him a word of acknowledgement. He wish he rembered his birthdays. He wishes he gave him an occasional pat on the back. Too bad wished aren't always granted.

And as for Francis, the same feeling lingered. The little empty feeling. The feeling of regreat. The longing to rewind time just to tell the person he cared. To tell him he was wanted. To tell him he was sorry for everything. But no. Back then, he barely rembered his own son's name. But now, he sure as hell knows it. Everyone knew it. Because now, his son was….

"AND MATTHEW WILLAMS SCORES ANOTHER POINT FOR THE CANDIAN POLOR BEARS!" The TV blasted out when Alfred sat on the remote. Sighing he pulled the remote out from under his butt and turned his attention to the TV. There he was. His once sweet innocent little brother up on the TV screen skating on ice with a hockey stick in his hand. Alfred sadly smiled. There was a time when he didn't even know Mattie played Hockey. But now….

"Former Matthew Kirkland-Bonnefoy is now known as Matthew Williams also known as the famous captain of International Hockey Champions, "The Canadian Polar Bears". He was born on July 1st and…" The TV ranted and Alfred realized this was a biography video on Mattie.

"After being abandoned by his parents and brother, our Hockey Hero…" The TV continues to talk and Alfred growled and threw the remote. How dare they speak of Matthew like they knew him when they didn't?

"Alfred, what was that noise…" Arthur trailed off as he walked in to the room and looked at the screen. Feeling the familiar pang of guilt, he remained silent for a few moments before he sighed and spoke up. "How long has it been?"

"Five years" Alfred replied and continued to watch the image of his brother swiftly gliding across the ice.

"He's turning 21" Arthur said and America nodded. July first was his birthday. Next week. The same birthday that was ignored year after year.

"Should we try to send him a present?" Alfred asked even though he knew from previous years of experience that it would just be sent back.

"We already did. We do every year don't, we?" Arthur said.

"But why do we do it?" Alfred asked and before Arthur could answer, Francis walked in the room and answered for him.

"Because ve hold on to ze hope that Mathieu vill somezay forgive us" He answered quietly and sat down next to Alfred.

"Fat chance" Alfred muttered and turned off the TV just as he saw his brother wink at the camera.

"I just really vish we would come back" Francis sighed wrapping his arms around Arthur.

"I do as well, however the poor lad has a good reason to resent us" Arthur said thinking back to the day Matthew left them.

"Damn, we screw up" Alfred whispered.

**Across the World in Russia**

"Mattie! It's coming your way!" a young voice shouted and Matthew quickly skated over to the round, black disk.

"I got it!" He shouted back and swung his hockey stick over the puck. On contact, it few to the other side of the ring back in to the small stick of the younger play. "You're getting good, Peter!" The maple loving hockey star yelled.

"Thanks, Mattie!" The teen nation said and hit the puck in to the unguarded goal.

"Nice shot!" Matthew smiled and skated over next to Peter to pat his head.

"Hey! I'm not a kid anymore!" He complained but laughed anyway. He loved the feeling of his older brother's hand on his head.

"I know" The older male laughed and led both of them back to the bleachers where Peter was sitting earlier to watch Matthew's game against Russia. The Canadians of course won by 4 points. They both laughed for a few more minutes before Peter finally sighed and a sad expression took his face.

"What's wrong?" Matthew finally asked and peter sighed again.

"Mama and Papa are forcing me to visit Jerkland and his family next week on the 1st" Peter said and Matthew slightly cringed at hearing about the people who he pushed out of his life years earlier.

"I see" Canada replied with a bitter expression.

"I want you to come with me!" Peter finally said after long moments of silence.

"You know I can't" Matthew finally replied after longer moments. Peter sighed and got up.

"I just don't understand!" Peter yelled. "Why do you hate Jerkland and his family so much? I asked Mama and Papa but they told me to ask you! Everytime I ask you, you change the subject! When will you understand, I'm not a kid any more. I'm freaking 16 (in nation years)!"

Matthew looked up at the younger nation surprised. Peter was such a sweet kid. Never had he yelled at him before so serious. But he was right. The kid deserved to know.

"I'll tell you everything" He finally said look down at the ice below him. He was about reliving 17 years of pain.

**AN/**

**And that's all I have for now. I hope you like it. I need at least two reviews to continue!**


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